Thursday, July 21, 2011

Bye Bye Blondie...

There it is folks, one of the hardest things I've had to do in four simple steps.  It helped to have a small group of supportive folks that lifted my spirits but that night, and the morning after, and the morning after that were no picnic.  I am still struggling to make certain hat/scarf/wig combinations make fashionable sense.  It always seems that the first thing I put on screams "I have cancer" to me and I wind up changing.

Regardless, I think it is important to share every aspect of this journey because if you see someone smiling through something that is this difficult, it might shine a new perspective on your own personal trials.

Gotta go wig out  ;)

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Hair...not my coffee.

I know it has been too long since my last post. My life has been a whirlwind since we returned home from Texas.  I had my first chemo treatment on June 21st, and second on July 5th. 

Here is the rundown of my schedule: I go every other Tuesday for Adriamycin and Cytoxan, and every Wednesday for Neulasta to stimulate my bone marrow. After 4 rounds of this, I start going every Tuesday for Taxol and Herceptin, for 12 rounds. Catch all that???

Just like clockwork, the day following my second treatment I have started to feel the effects: mouth is numb, throat is sore, eyes are burning, I have NO appetite, and the worst hair is thinning and falling out.

This morning while attempting to drink a vanilla caramel coffee, I noticed a hair had fallen into it suddenly making it not so sweet.  I have cried everyday since Tuesday; this is by far the hardest part of my journey...not 12 major surgeries, or the absence of my normal schedule....losing part of my external aesthetic self.  I have said many times this week that although I fully comprehend the logic that chemotherapy is poison and this proves it is killing the "bad" cells, the emotional turmoil that this chapter evokes is simply unfair.  But, if I've heard it once I've heard  it a million times..........what does not kill you makes you stronger.  I hold onto that and about a thousand other sayings, adages, lyrics, and such to stay positive. My sweet friends and fam held a "Cover Carly's Head" party in my honor so I am well stocked with cute accessories, scarves, and hats.

I have ups and downs, and really foggy moments, but I am hanging in there.  Thanks so much to all of you who continue showing your support in a thousand different ways, I love you. 

Until next wild hearts ~~....