My Angel on Earth

Amelia Elise
DOB: 11/21/2018
6 lbs, 6 oz. 19.5 in.

10-minute-old Amelia

I can only begin this post by thanking God for his immeasurable blessing of Amelia's life. She is most certainly a miracle and made everything you've read here worth every second. I was made to be her mommy. I understood the risks, and I made an agreement with my oncologist that after I healed from her delivery, I would undergo a complete hysterectomy to once and for all be at the most limited risk possible for estrogen-positive cancer of all kinds. That surgery took place in July 2019.

Paint the Town Pink 2019

Since she will be 4 soon, this is a belated update. We have shared holidays, happy days, scary days, and emotional days. We have played so much, learned so much, and grown so much. She is one of the smartest, funniest, and sassiest people I've ever known. Her love for her mommy, daddy, and doggy is strong and her determined will is even stronger.

We are living in West Point, GA now and loving it. She has started preschool and will begin Pre-K next Fall. I am now working with The Carver Companies out of Atlanta and it has been a true pleasure so far.

Go Braves! 2021          Covid Christmas 2021            My little Valentine 2022

I will admit when I found out I was having a girl, I was immediately set on high alert for what all she could genetically endure. But I soon realized that you cannot focus on what if it happens to her. If it happens to her like it happened to me, we will be strong, positive, and PREPARED. This is what got me through it and she will have an expert in her corner. Of course, my daily prayer is that she lives a healthy, happy, and content life. 

Meme, Amelia and Carly pose for a calendar shoot.

 As for my Meme, she is breast cancer free but maintains the DIPNECH condition and receives monthly injections to keep that at bay. She is nearing 88 and still thriving, having recently moved into Assisted Living and is running that show honey lemme tell ya!

For those of you who have followed from the start, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope this blog has given you insight into what it is truly like to go through breast cancer at a young age, and all of the LIGHT, LIFE, and LOVE that follows all the darkness.

Until next time (and no it won't be 5 years),
Carly

T.G.I. Chemo…

Here is a supremely overdue update on my sweet Meme. She had her bilateral mastectomy on December 6, 2017. She breezed through surgery but recovery was not as simple.

She finally began chemo on March 9^th after being put through a battery of other tests, including a double lung biopsy. The results weren’t favorable but they aren’t terminal either. She has diffused idiopathic pulmonary neuroendocrine cell hyperplasia (DIPNECH) which is a diffuse parenchymal lung disease which often presents with symptoms of cough and shortness of breath. In some ways she’s grateful for explanations that neither her primary care physician nor cardiologist could provide. In other ways, it’s one more diagnosis to worry about and watch over. She has chemo every Friday and my mom Lisa (another seasoned pro) usually takes her. TGIF right??

We had previously “played dress up” many months ago (when she was initially diagnosed) in my wig/scarf/hat collection. We were able to rule out BLONDE immediately! 😊 It all became very real at lunch in West Point one recent Saturday. We were dining outside when a large gust of wind loosened a tuft of her hair almost to the flying away point. We went back to my house and shaved it over root beer floats.

Since I know her so well and have served as her resident hairstylist for most of my life, I took it upon myself to order a wig on her behalf and she LOVES it. I must say, she looks stunning! Eat your heart out Raquel Welch!

She is not without her tired and depleted days – those are Monday and Tuesday- but she remains a pillar of strength and beauty and love.

4 down, 8 to go.

Not me, but MeMe

I feel so scattered.

Half of me is ready to jump into action and begin scheduling all of the inevitable appointments. The other half cannot help but fall vulnerably into the "Why Her" routine. She's made it nearly 83 years without this, why now?

I have been waiting for my sweet friend Dr. Scarborough's call all morning regarding MeMe's pathology report from her biopsies...the one that determined if it would be just another Tuesday or not. As it turns out, this is not a normal Tuesday. The extra icing on this disgusting cake is that she has it in each breast. Both. "Treatable, curable, but yes........cancer."

It is so strange to hear that about someone you love more than yourself. Even having heard it about MYSELF three separate occasions, I honestly did not expect this to be anything more than a report of fibrocystic breast tissue mascarading as something dark and destructive. But this is no trick---------or-treat.

My MeMe is the strongest woman I know. She is one of 10 children, the infamous Fraziers of Fairfax, Alabama. They grew up in hard times, and she helped raise the younger ones. She married my beloved Grandad, James Pearce at 17. She is my best friend and has never left my side through it all. I most certainly would not have been able to weather my storms without her.

It is my turn to step into the Support Role....the cancer caregiver. It will be helpful to have our expertise in this situation, but that won't make it much easier. I keep thinking how hard watching both of us endure this disease would have been on my Grandad, and how even though it would have been so painful for him, I selfishly wish he was here more than anything.I made sure my Mama was with us when I told her today. She is handling it with grace and strength, just as expected.  Our next step is more imaging on Thursday, then onto surgical consultation on Monday. With the size of her tumors it is unlikely she will need radation or chemotherapy....However it was also "unlikely" that I would have it twice more after a bi-lateral mastectomy, so we don't get too hung up on words in our family.

Until next update,

Carly

Three Heads are Better than One

Three oncologists all attended one seminar.  Three oncologists with three different life experiences have three different takeaways from said conference. The data that was presented (as usual) leaves me somewhere in the "unknown", the "it's really up to you", the "well on the one hand.....but then on the other...."

Needless to say, since my last post I've been doing major soul searching. Soul searching is so exhausting. I had a solid week of nightmares and anxiety so bad I woke up clenching my jaw. I have been able to take so many hits on the chin and skip on down the lane but this one had me deadlocked in my boots.

Let me tell you about my new friend Dr. Mchayleh. I had met Dr. M in a public capacity when we both spoke at the BFFL event last fall. I have heard wonderful things about him since he began his oncology practice here in LaGrange and found them to be more than true when I consulted him for a second opinion.  He was so warm, personable, and uniquely knowledgeable to my personal circumstance.  He had even printed articles for me to read. He knew I was overwhelmed at the prospect of losing my ovaries. He paused, and sincerely spoke to me as he would his own sister. As a student in elementary, middle, high school, and even college, I have always done better with a more compassionate teacher. I am a firm believer that it takes all kinds of people to make this world go round, but at the end of the day, I am a patient with a sensitive soul who longs for a tender-hearted doctor...and I think I have found him. He has also ordered a genetic retesting of my entire gene panel to look for a new mutation, among other interesting reasons.

Dr. M knew I would benefit from one more set of listening ears, and he wisely suggested them to be female. So he made a call and sent me to see a firecracker oncologist at Northside named Dr. Amelia Zelnak.

Much more thorough and fact based, she broke down all the data that explained the recurrence and/or survival rates with those patients just like me who were under the age of 35, had chemotherapy, and were HR+.  We went on to further discuss the added benefit that was observed with exemestane.  Here comes your chemistry lesson: The main source of estrogen is the ovaries in premenopausal women, while in post-menopausal women most of thebody's estrogen is produced via the conversion of androgens into estrogen by the aromatase enzyme in the peripheral tissues and a number of sites in the brain. Estrogen is produced locally via the actions of the aromatase enzyme in these peripheral tissues where it acts locally.


In English, this means that rather than committing to the irreversible very permanent decision to remove all my baby-makin' parts, I along with 2 out of 3 of these savvy docs have decided to opt for Adjuvant Exemestane with Ovarian Suppression for the remainder of my total 10 years of cancer treatment.  This means that for the next five years, I will receive a monthly injection that will suppress the ovaries' estrogen production, in addition to switching medications from Tamoxifen (this blocks estrogen coming from ovaries) to Aromasin (this blocks estrogen coming from peripheral tissues). The hope is that when this leg of the journey is finished, and the injections stop, I regain ovarian function and nature allows me to live another 10-15 years as a normal woman.....before menopause makes its regularly scheduled stop.  Of course, there are no guarantees that this will happen.  There are no promises my ovaries will churn out estrogen normally once I have subjected them to this shut down madness...but there are no promises to the contrary either.

I am explaining this to everyone as if their favorite roller coaster has been temporarily closed for repairs...it's a bummer, and it will take adjustments, but after a while hopefully the mechanics will be worked out and once the oil is added and the gears are checked....back in business!


Who knows folks......I may just get a little Baby Byrd after all. 38 is the new 22 right???

Just like Angelina, but worse...

It seems I go a year between posts these days. I'd like to say that's because life is normal, with nothing major to report. And until yesterday, that was true.

I see my oncologist, Dr. Pippas, every six months now. Upon entering the room he immediately noticed my hair color. "You look beautiful Carly Byrd...you've made a change with your hair...I like it. It's always a pleasure to see your name on my schedule." He went on to reveal that my tumor marker number was a happy 23 (anything less than 38 is the goal). So far, so good.

He did a physical exam and did not encounter any unknown masses...which always paralyzes me momentarily because I'm immediately jolted back to the day four years ago he so casually identified the Stage II lump under my left arm. He then rolled backwards and we embarked upon yet another life-changing conversation together, probably our fifth or sixth by now.

"Carly Byrd, since you were pre-menopausal and HER2/neu positive, it's time to remove your ovaries and Fallopian tubes, and preferably your uterus."

In summary, TOTAL HYSTERECTOMY. I will be 33 on June 10th.  I am supposed to have this done within the next six months. My eyes have been like broken faucets for more than 24 hours now. All I can think is how badly I want to go back in time and tell this little girl--> not to anticipate a normal life. Stop saying you can't wait to have children.  Just stop making expectations for your future and let it just happen. That way when you're preparing for your 20th surgery near your 33rd birthday, you will just feel that it is your normal.

What I find most frustrating is that all of the magical parts that females can do miraculous things with are ALL being removed from me. Breasts, uterus, ovaries. All in an effort to prevent MORE CANCER.......breast cancer, ovarian, uterine......

I meet with my friend and ob/gyn next week to discuss my options. It is still up to me whether to have a full hysterectomy or only the ovaries and Fallopian tubes removed. Until then, my fingers will be cramping with the all too familiar google research cram session. Thus far I've encountered that the following side effects to just the oophorectomy alone include: Bone thinning (osteoporosis), discomforts of menopause, and increased risk of heart disease.I am so scared to google the side effects of hysterectomy. Needless to say, instead of the medicine cabinet of a 70 year old, I will now have the medicine cabinet of a 90 year old.


I am sure some of you reading this have or have had cancer.I am sure some of you reading this have or have had a hysterectomy. But I would also be willing to bet that most of you have beautiful children that have your eyes, your laugh, your sense of humor....


If I seem despondent or removed, now you know why. It is not in my nature to dwell in the funk for extended periods of time but this has me absolutely shaken.

Thanks for reading.  Keep on praying since this journey is apparently NEVER ENDING.

Love,
Carls

Oh baby baby it's a wild world....

It has been over a year since my last post.  I am very aware of this for two reasons:
1) my one year remission anniversary was April 4, 2014!
2) the storage fees for my "Byrd eggs" became due.

It has been a very emotional year for me. Hearing the word "remission" last April was a wave of relief. However, the journey did not come to an end by any means. I am on Tamoxifen for the next 10 years, a drug with which I have developed a LOVE/HATE relationship. I love Tamoxifen for the promise of occurrence reduction. I hate Tamoxifen for the liver problems it can cause, the hot flashes it brings on, and the fact that as long as I am on it I cannot get pregnant.

There is no NEWS FLASH here or anything, it's just knowing that I have given that control over to a drug infuriates me.

I have been stacking the letters notifying me of the impending storage fees in a nonspecific pile in a direct effort to avoid the decision.  The deliberation I have devoted to this would blow your mind, and has caused more sad, tearful, frustrated days than I care to recall. I finally decided it was time to let them go.  My own body won't be capable of carrying a child until my early 40's and even then there come more complications.  I sat down to write the email to the Sher Institute notifying them of my decision with a lump in my throat the size of a grapefruit.

My mind replays the week in Dallas in 2011 I spent with my mother, and bending over, backwards, and sideways to receive the fertility shots.  Was it all for nothing? The physical pain I endured? The finances it cost us to travel there and receive the drugs?
I am not sure.  I do know that at the time I was panicked by so many situations that it felt nice to prepare for at least one curve ball.  The final step will be to sign the consent form in front of a notary and send it back to Sher.  I dread that with a pain I struggle to put into words. But I also dread receiving those notification letters...."Miss Byrd, you're in remission...don't you want to have a baby???" "Miss Byrd, don't forget we've still got your 25 potential children just waiting on you!"

These are of course not their actual words but absolutely the way my mind translates them. If it were only that easy.  My brain and heart and soul take turns convincing me that "everything happens for a reason." Some days I feel completely content with myself, my house, and my dog.  Content with performing my roles as daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend.............then some days hit me like a brick wall. On one hand, the eggs I'm still making are cancer free (hopefully) but they are also not the eggs of a 29 year old....

I had the precious pleasure of keeping my friend's daughters for the whole weekend.

I taught them how to climb the same tree my sister and I climbed. We walked the trails I walked between my grandparents' house and mine. We had cinnamon rolls on the front porch and we played in the lake.  I even took them over to my dad's house and we fed apples to the horse and discovered my old big wheel. We all three snuggled in my big bed. Pacifiers, chocolate milk, drawings, coloring books, diaper changes, band-aids for boo boos, bath time, and watching them in my rear view mirror as we rode around town.  These are the moments my heart longs to pass on to my own child, and I don't know that I ever will.

Today was a sad one, as an inanimate object brought a rush of emotions. As I was straightening up around my house, I picked up a hat that I had considered wearing to a baby shower on Saturday...the conversation went like this:

Me: "Girls, hat or no hat?"
Ayla: "No hat. I mean the hat is very pretty but I think you are so pretty you don't need it."

That childlike adoration, innocence, encouragement, and preciousness touched me so deeply and the sudden recollection of it hit me like a tidal wave.

I felt compelled to share this event because I know so many women are unable to have their own children for a host of reasons, and as much as we strive for definition beyond the role of "mom" it is still in our heart of hearts. I look forward to a day without the confines of Tamoxifen, surgeries (my next reconstruction is next week), with a hope that I will find true contentment one way or the other.

Sincerely, and a bit sadly,
Carls

Ode to Remission!!!

A sight for sore eyes, a long time coming.

No longer the blues, now a cheerful tune I'm humming.

The last five years have tested me hard,

Cancer makes you defensive, you lift your guard.

Topsy turvy, upside down, 

you lose your hair, you lose your crown.

Weakness and strength seem to coexist.

As you search for reasons, and make life lists.

The storm subsides and the sun comes out

Remission is here! I want to shout.

Thankful for family, friends, and faith

Go tell someone you love them, for goodness sake.

Let's recap, shall we? Initially diagnosed in 2008 at age 25...double mastectomy. Returned in early 2011...lumpectomy and radiation. In final days of radiation, diagnosed with Stage 2...Lumpectomy and left axila removal (15 lymph nodes), chemotherapy for a year...finished in August 2012. While I am still undergoing reconstruction procedures and will be for at least the next year, it is an unbelievable relief to know that toxic poisonous cancer is no longer lingering in my body. Breast cancer, pink ribbons, the color pink, and "fighting like a girl" have come to define my life and always will.  But soon, I will be able to look at these things retrospectively, with appreciation for the sisterhood and support they represent.

I am blogging to you from my side porch on a beautiful spring afternoon.  This is the same porch where my great grandmother and I played many rounds of Rummy, and where Meme and Grandad wore slap out their Aggravation gameboard (remember that game?) My spoiled puppy dog is sunning on a pile of pillows...he deserves it. 

We have already begun to celebrate this milestone and the party train will keep on rollin' all summer.  With Fleetwood Mac on tour, and a visit to my sissy's house in Chicago on the books, I'm optimistic I will be able to give and receive a whole lotta love in the coming months.

LOVE AND SO MUCH APPRECIATION FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!!!!

Carls

Goodbye and Good Riddance to 2012

Since we last spoke...
My house has been renovated! The major changes are complete and now we are still working on final touches. We had a very sentimental dedication a few weeks before Christmas. You can view the video of the "big reveal" below...sorry for the low quality, we aren't professionals. :)

The Reveal

The Dedication

For both Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, Meme and I traveled to North Carolina to be with family.  Both Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day included trips to the ER for yours truly. Seriously...I'm not kidding...it really happened.  On Thanksgiving, there was a major allergic reaction of sorts. I was given ephedrine, pepcid, and nebulizer treatments.  The holiday wasn't a total loss; we simply moved our meal from lunch to dinner and salvaged it. The Saturday after Thanksgiving was a beautiful day to celebrate one of the most important people in my life: Ryleigh Belle. Can you believe she is already ONE? Even though she was under the weather (just like the rest of us) she was a perfect birthday baby. I am excited about celebrating Big Sissy's 5th birthday this weekend.

On Christmas Eve, I felt flu-like symptoms but was stubborn about it (Yes Mama, you.were.right.).  After suffering through the night with a too-high fever, I surrendered and got in the car.  The registration nurse could not believe I was making a repeat holiday appearance, and then the ER doctor actually recognized me! Mind you...this is in NORTH CAROLINA, 300 miles from my usual doctors. After an IV cocktail and more nebulizer treatments, I was released with the promise of wearing a mask around my family...so I obliged after my sister embellished it just a little. :)

Physically, I am feeling pretty well these days. I have hypertrophic scars so my plastic surgeon has recommended several months of scar massaging combined with silicone treatment sheets.  If anyone sees any extra large silicone sheets, let me know! I use an entire box each time I apply them and they only last a few days (and they're 20 bucks a pop!).  I meet with him again in March.  Emotionally, I feel like I have more gray days more frequently now than in the past. It is ironic that when all you can do is focus on surviving this process, you are surrounded. These days are much quieter, sometimes more sullen.  I am excited that my local B.F.F.L support group is ramping back up, but since I seem to be in a suggestion mood, I am all ears if you know of another amazing group of breast cancer fighters/survivors that meet on a regular basis.

Keeping with the theme of support, my awesome and often times crazy little sister Anna has honored me with "PINK" ink! You will recognize it as a modification of the CBHF logo but she has definitely made it her own. The most marvelous part is that she incorporated the things that are important to me and help me through this life...birds, music, love, pink ribbon, and even the font is significant. Very cool little sissy.

I guess it is finally time to attempt sleep again, and curl up with my dog and electric blanket.  Please keep my spirit in your prayers. Please pray for positivity, direction, and encouragement. I will leave you with a glance at my gorgeous guestroom! I'll provide the bed if you provide the breakfast......any takers??? :) 

Renovations and Reconstructions

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Both my home place and my body have been broken down, repaired, upgraded, and improved within the last week.  The Fuller Center group and the Home Depot crew began work at 8:00 am last Monday. The deliveries came swiftly...pallets of flooring, doors, windows, cabinets, paint cans, insulation, and other items rolled into my garage without a hitch.  It was an astounding sight as the workers began demolition shortly after lunch.  My nearly Century old house took it like a champ, and braced itself for the royal treatment. I was interviewed by both the Valley Times News and the Troup County News that day and made the front page of both. This project is touching all kinds of people in and around my community in a way that no one could predict. After the second day, I was "banished" and will not be allowed back until it is time for the BIG REVEAL......"Move that bus!" 

After daily trips to Columbus last week (including a normal check-up with Dr. Pippas), I arrived at my home away from home, St. Francis Hospital Thursday at 5:15 am for my implant replacement procedure.

In stark contrast to my previous surgery, this one went very smoothly. I do not remember much between Nurse Pam's generous dose of "joy juice" until I was awakened to move from the stretcher to the recovery bed. I was back in LaGrange on the sofa by early afternoon. Drama-free surgery is the way to go! I definitely prefer it. Mom came down to take care of me in the way only she can, and I am staying with my loving friends The Karrs while my home is being renovated. Today's follow-up appointment with Dr. Jain was uneventful, other than lipo sutures from the fat-grafting, being removed. I will go back next Monday for tape removal.

In other news, I have officially been released from my job at WGTC.  I have to assume there is a bigger reason for this challenging predicament.  As soon as I heal from this procedure, I will be ready and willing to be back in a workplace, full-time, with insurance!!! COBRA has been activated and is so expensive. It will forever baffle me as to why the government expects you to pay exorbitant amounts of money in the aftermath of a job loss. It is a desperate situation, eased only by those of you still generously donating to the CB Hope Fund, and of course my incredible parents: T-Byrd and L-Dog.

I will be sure to update you all after my home is complete! Until then....

Let there be water!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you CITY WATER. I would like to interrupt your regularly scheduled Tuesday to publicly thank Lindsey Binion for her devoted fundraising efforts that made this epic moment possible.  I also extend my eternal gratitude to those of you in her circle of  family and friends who responded to her plea. While my well water was getting me through (thanks to Dixie Well Boring), the amount of work it was taking me to keep the well working, along with the amount of iron in the water, and rusting galvanized pipes was not an ideal situation for someone constantly recovering from extreme medical situations and a compromised immune system. Today I am thankful for water. What are you thankful for?  Love, Carly XO

It's been a "weak" two weeks...

5:30am: Awakened by the Phlebotomist to have two tubes of blood pulled from my arm (not my IV or port because that would be too simple)

5:45am: Take my sponge bath and Mom washes and gels my hair...gotta look good for the docs!

6:00am: RN comes in to give me a Lovenox (blood thinner) shot in my tummy, alternating each day between the left side and the right side because it causes severe bruising.

6:45am: I start to doze off until........

7:00-7:30am: The first of 2-3 doctors comes by for rounds. Dr. Pippas zooms in like a character from a Harry Potter movie. Dr. Jain flashes a caring grin and inspects the surgical site. Dr. Scarborough comes by for comfort and some laughs.

9:00-11:00am: Nap time (in between RN coming in to check vitals)

12:00-6:00pm: Sweet nurses coming in to chat and check my pain level (typically between 8-10)

6:30pm: Fever started....and climbed all night.

This was my routine for the past two weeks. The last time I wrote I was about to be released. That occurred on Saturday. I had a follow-up appointment with my plastic surgeon on Monday...after taking one look at me, and hearing my fever remained, he sent me straight to my oncologist. My oncologist took one look at me and my chart (he had been out of the office during my first hospital stay) and sent me STRAIGHT back to the hospital for readmission. Mom and I did not even get to go home first. I am not sure if the SFH staff was more shocked to see me again, or if I was more shocked I was back so soon.  Either way, we got down to business.  Dr. Pippas ordered a CT scan of my chest and thorax to check for an abscess...negative. Then he ordered an ECHO of my arm and neck to check for a blood clot...negative.  We took about a thousand cultures from every part of my body that could be cultured...negative.  Dr. Pippas decided to remove my chemo portacath, speculating that it had somehow become infected, and hoping its removal would provide some relief.  

Now, here's the kicker...the surgery was not exactly pre-meditated. We found out at 8:00am they would be taking me down around 11:00am. I was going on three days with a massive migraine and had forced down some yogurt around 7:00am to try and absorb some of the medications (did I mention I was on three antibiotics??)...you know when they say "Nothing to eat after midnight the day before surgery"? Well, I learned the hard way that is what dictates the amount of medication/sedation they can give you for your procedure. The small amount of undesired yogurt I digested prevented my sedation. I received local anesthetic and lidocaine to the surgical area but was frighteningly awake through the whole event.  I am sure it would not have been half as traumatic, were it not for the four drains sticking out of my side and the sickening throbbing pain of my migraine.  I cried through the entire procedure...I never cry.

I came home last Friday and the fevers seemed to have vacated the premises.  On Monday I went for my first expansion with Dr. Jain (100 CCs) and every staff member commented on how I looked like myself for the first time in a month. I felt more like myself too. Real clothes instead of a hospital gown...not having to view the world through the slits between my fingers due to my migraine, hearing sounds instead of muffled noises through earplugs, and breathing fresh air instead of hospital air. The expansion caused a bit of burning due to the stretching aspect, but I have done this before so I am familiar with this situation. That does not make it any less painful, but at least I do not have the anxiety of the unknown.

We met some true angels at SFH this time, just as we did during the first stay. On my first day back, I was escorted to my scan by a caring but quiet nurse who was initially just interested in getting me where I needed to go. Something touched her though because she came back to give me her Jesus fish pin, which I immediately added to my already stylishly adorned allergy bracelet. :) The next angel I met was named Harriett. She was tasked with figuring out how to run an ECHO scan wand across my tattered body, minimizing my pain. She was amazing. She kept the room dark since my head was aching and I was nauseated. She was so gentle, and worked so hard to keep me comfortable that it was almost a peaceful experience. She held my hand and prayed for me. Needless to say it brought me, Mom, and Harriett to tears!

DRUMROLL PLEASE........................................................................................................................

I FINISHED CHEMO ON AUGUST 9TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I was treated for the past 14 months, at first weekly then from January till now every three weeks. Even though this journey is still far from over, I am relieved to turn the page on this particular chapter of the story. I cannot brag enough about the wonderful nurses at JBACC. As you can see from the photo, they have been so supportive from the beginning and have remained some of my greatest cheerleaders.

I will close with mention of my precious puppy. My sweet Tatum has been the most loving caring soul and does not let many minutes pass without reminding me how grateful he is to have his mama home. I don't know what I would do without my sweet little Tot!

Thanks to all of you who have been SO supportive during these trying times. I am still in recovery and appreciate the balance of quiet time with visits, meals, etc.

Until next time,

Carly XO

Greetings from Room 407

It has been a week long stay in the ever so lovely St. Francis Hospital.  The surgery to remove a latissimus muscle from my back to correct the damage done by radiation to my left breast has been successful.  However the impact of surgery while still undergoing chemo treatments has made this one of the most difficult weeks of my life, physically.

I have battled a pattern of pain, migraine, exhaustion, and fever this week that has baffled all of my doctors. This seems to be one of my hidden talents...baffling my doctors.  However it has been an incredible week of relationship building also. My mom, endearingly known as "L-dog" arrived last Wednesday in time to accompany me to my pre-op appointments and has not left my side since.  It is so amazing to be able to have one person that I trust whole-heartedly to defend me to the death! Haha. The great thing is we are both able to appreciate the kindness and compassion of the precious people we meet in these extenuating circumstances.  We can communicate with eye contact and have the same intuition. I cannot speak highly enough of 99% of the nurses at SFH. I meet so many people in the medical profession that have lost their love for the practice and more importantly the people they encounter.  But these women have involved themselves in my well-being and I know their life stories. From Geralda, a jovial New Yorker who relocated to the south, to Jenel-a soft-spoken caring nurse named after her beloved grandmother, to our favorite nurse Laura...who brightened our day with her thousand watt smile and cheerful laughter.  Laura, if you read this, thanks again for the fresh gripper socks :)

As a cancer patient I hardly ever have just one doctor, and this week is no exception. Dr. Jain performed my procedure and in classic plastic surgeon fashion, is cool, calm, charming, and upbeat.  Dr. Jiang has been my substitute oncologist as Dr. Pippas has been vacationing in Greece. I had one previous interaction with Dr. Jiang in the chemo room when my Adriamycin was pushed too fast and my body reacted with an immediate all over rash. It was a memorable first encounter so his was a familiar face. He has truly become part of our medical family this week with his quick wit and caring ways. He always leaves us with a clearer view of the mystifying situation and a plan of action. Tonight he even brought me a French vanilla cappuccino, just to cheer me up because he has been so worried! A small gesture that meant more than he will ever know. I have also been visited by my old buddy Dr. Scarborough this week as he is making his rounds here at SFH. I never tire of his sweet and sarcastic comic relief. Our daily banter keeps me "Carly" through these tough times.

Both docs agreed that if I go without fever tonight, I can finally go home tomorrow. We are very anxious to get home because we get to go home to.....ONNIE'S HOUSE! I have officially moved in and renovations have begun. It is a very exciting time in our family...a time of homecoming and new beginnings. I have been awarded a "Greater Blessings" housing grant through the amazing folks at The Fuller Company and Charterbank. I will be blogging more about this later as we are still in the very beginning stages, but I will share some images to whet your home improvement palate. :)

I'm going to let the Demerol kick in now and pray for a fever free night. Thanks for all of the posts, comments, calls, and texts. I still need and appreciate everyone's support more than words can say.

Over and out from 407,
Carly

I'll Take Care of You

At the end of a long lazy Sunday, I am reflecting on the importance of support. My thoughts are consumed with the amazing array of ways we can and more importantly choose to express our love, compassion, and concern for each other.  As I was parking at the grocery store earlier today, a father and his two daughters caught my eye.  I watched as he revealed himself to be a thoughtful daddy, keeping the girls near his small truck as he loaded their groceries.  I noticed the two girls were probably 2-3 years apart and the time warp back to a simpler time overwhelmed me.

A family friend of mine took the bracelet right off her arm Friday night because I was admiring it and placed it on mine.  A long distance friend of mine (without even knowing I'd had a emotionally draining day) suggested today I get myself out of the house and have a mani/pedi "on her." Another friend made sure I ate something decent for dinner and even threw in a few laughs for good measure.  My mama made the statement that I had been "quiet" today.....and the fact that she let me be quiet shows her understanding and support.

This past Friday was Relay for Life. I am sad to say I knew even more participants this year than last but I am also proud.  The people, especially the women, are resilient, beautiful, and stronger than most.  They glow from the inside out and it is almost blinding when everyone is in one collected place.  In case you are not familiar with this event, it is as much for our caregivers as it is for us. We take a symbolic "Survivors' Lap" and spend the rest of the evening with those who walk along side us in our arduous journeys: nurses, radiologic technicians, coworkers, friends, and family.

Chemo has been very smooth in recent weeks. Physically, I have been bouncing back for the most part with the exception of what I call "side effect days"...and my spring weekends have been packed with my BFF's daughter's soccer games and excursions like National Record Store day with buddies.

Stay tuned for some pretty cool updates. The summer promises to bring newness and excitement.

All my love,
Carls