New Growth

Sitting down to type this latest blog post has been harder than having a tooth pulled.  It is one thing to have certain feelings but to express them in written form takes it to another level.

However, I was recently told I should celebrate my triumphs, as much as I focus on my trials (even more so actually).  So we will begin there...with new growth.  My hair is growing in! Rather rapidly in fact, along with my eyelashes and eyebrows.  I have received many compliments on the new "hairstyle" which always makes me giggle, but I take as sincere flattery either way.

Without a job to go to everyday, I have been pondering ways to use my natural talents to stay busy. With the urge of some of my close friends, I am offering my wardrobe coordination consulting skills to the general public.  I have created a logo and intro forms if anyone is interested.  It is officially called "a Byrd in your closet"...pun definitely and adorably intended ;-)

And now for the rain clouds....call it cabin fever...call it postpartum...call it the old fashioned blues.  Whatever you call it the months of December and January were emotionally brutal. I started taking Tamoxifen in December and it has affected my hormones, and appetite and nausea, but I am fighting hard to keep my positive outlook.  To say this is the time for encouragement is an understatement.  It seems that in the midst of chemo you are too busy slaying the physical beast to realize the toll it is truly taking on your heart, mentality, life plan, stability, well-being, etc.  Only recently have I begun to actualize what I'm referring to as "the fight behind the fight." I have learned that I cannot control external circumstances and that has been a hard pill to swallow. I have also learned to accept more help.  As you are most likely aware, I am an independent gal.  I like nothing more than marching to the beat of my own drum most days. But lately, friends have popped in, drug me out of bed, and dusted me off to keep me in the loop of life.  They have intruded with the best intentions, and I graciously appreciate it. You know who you are :-)

As this post concludes, I ask for specific prayers, prayers that allow me to truly trust in God's plan for my life this year as I transition from my tumultuous twenties to what I hope will be my thriving thirties!