Greetings from Room 407

It has been a week long stay in the ever so lovely St. Francis Hospital.  The surgery to remove a latissimus muscle from my back to correct the damage done by radiation to my left breast has been successful.  However the impact of surgery while still undergoing chemo treatments has made this one of the most difficult weeks of my life, physically.

I have battled a pattern of pain, migraine, exhaustion, and fever this week that has baffled all of my doctors. This seems to be one of my hidden talents...baffling my doctors.  However it has been an incredible week of relationship building also. My mom, endearingly known as "L-dog" arrived last Wednesday in time to accompany me to my pre-op appointments and has not left my side since.  It is so amazing to be able to have one person that I trust whole-heartedly to defend me to the death! Haha. The great thing is we are both able to appreciate the kindness and compassion of the precious people we meet in these extenuating circumstances.  We can communicate with eye contact and have the same intuition. I cannot speak highly enough of 99% of the nurses at SFH. I meet so many people in the medical profession that have lost their love for the practice and more importantly the people they encounter.  But these women have involved themselves in my well-being and I know their life stories. From Geralda, a jovial New Yorker who relocated to the south, to Jenel-a soft-spoken caring nurse named after her beloved grandmother, to our favorite nurse Laura...who brightened our day with her thousand watt smile and cheerful laughter.  Laura, if you read this, thanks again for the fresh gripper socks :)

As a cancer patient I hardly ever have just one doctor, and this week is no exception. Dr. Jain performed my procedure and in classic plastic surgeon fashion, is cool, calm, charming, and upbeat.  Dr. Jiang has been my substitute oncologist as Dr. Pippas has been vacationing in Greece. I had one previous interaction with Dr. Jiang in the chemo room when my Adriamycin was pushed too fast and my body reacted with an immediate all over rash. It was a memorable first encounter so his was a familiar face. He has truly become part of our medical family this week with his quick wit and caring ways. He always leaves us with a clearer view of the mystifying situation and a plan of action. Tonight he even brought me a French vanilla cappuccino, just to cheer me up because he has been so worried! A small gesture that meant more than he will ever know. I have also been visited by my old buddy Dr. Scarborough this week as he is making his rounds here at SFH. I never tire of his sweet and sarcastic comic relief. Our daily banter keeps me "Carly" through these tough times.

Both docs agreed that if I go without fever tonight, I can finally go home tomorrow. We are very anxious to get home because we get to go home to.....ONNIE'S HOUSE! I have officially moved in and renovations have begun. It is a very exciting time in our family...a time of homecoming and new beginnings. I have been awarded a "Greater Blessings" housing grant through the amazing folks at The Fuller Company and Charterbank. I will be blogging more about this later as we are still in the very beginning stages, but I will share some images to whet your home improvement palate. :)

I'm going to let the Demerol kick in now and pray for a fever free night. Thanks for all of the posts, comments, calls, and texts. I still need and appreciate everyone's support more than words can say.

Over and out from 407,
Carly

I'll Take Care of You

At the end of a long lazy Sunday, I am reflecting on the importance of support. My thoughts are consumed with the amazing array of ways we can and more importantly choose to express our love, compassion, and concern for each other.  As I was parking at the grocery store earlier today, a father and his two daughters caught my eye.  I watched as he revealed himself to be a thoughtful daddy, keeping the girls near his small truck as he loaded their groceries.  I noticed the two girls were probably 2-3 years apart and the time warp back to a simpler time overwhelmed me.

A family friend of mine took the bracelet right off her arm Friday night because I was admiring it and placed it on mine.  A long distance friend of mine (without even knowing I'd had a emotionally draining day) suggested today I get myself out of the house and have a mani/pedi "on her." Another friend made sure I ate something decent for dinner and even threw in a few laughs for good measure.  My mama made the statement that I had been "quiet" today.....and the fact that she let me be quiet shows her understanding and support.

This past Friday was Relay for Life. I am sad to say I knew even more participants this year than last but I am also proud.  The people, especially the women, are resilient, beautiful, and stronger than most.  They glow from the inside out and it is almost blinding when everyone is in one collected place.  In case you are not familiar with this event, it is as much for our caregivers as it is for us. We take a symbolic "Survivors' Lap" and spend the rest of the evening with those who walk along side us in our arduous journeys: nurses, radiologic technicians, coworkers, friends, and family.

Chemo has been very smooth in recent weeks. Physically, I have been bouncing back for the most part with the exception of what I call "side effect days"...and my spring weekends have been packed with my BFF's daughter's soccer games and excursions like National Record Store day with buddies.

Stay tuned for some pretty cool updates. The summer promises to bring newness and excitement.

All my love,
Carls

The "Sting"

March 14th-18th is just about the hardest week of the year for me. I lost my beloved Grandad on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 four days before what used to be one of my favorite days...his birthday.  My grade school friend has helped aptly title it "Grandad week."  As my family reminiscences, we all come to the same conclusion. That God took him before he had to watch me suffer through the past four years.  As my biggest fan and main source of unconditional love and strength, it would have literally broken his already damaged heart.  A longing, a sting, for what used to be and nostalgia almost overtake me, but I am so thankful for each and every precious memory.

Also in the same week, two of my friends that have unfortunately been inducted into "the club" finished their chemotherapy sessions.  I am so genuinely happy for these ladies! On the other hand, it is sometimes hard to watch people who were diagnosed after me, finish before me.  It creates a stinging torn feeling in my gut.  That is as honest as I can be. They now will face the decisions I've already made in previous years: surgery options, radiation, etc. I pray that their paths lead them to a life rid of this horrible cancer lifestyle we have been forced to embrace. My last chemo session produced an extra dose of the skin irritation they affectionately refer to as "radiation recall." IT STINGS.

I inquired again about a position at work, and much to my dismay nothing is available.  I often wonder if they know that getting back to work, back to a routine would bring so much normalcy back to my life.  I truly do not think they have connected the dots between my mental and emotional well-being and the effect of being productive in the workplace. That stings.

March is also the time of happy things...birthdays and weddings seem to be celebrated every weekend.  We had fun dressing as late musicians for Lindsey's party (can you guess my costume?) and then I had a great time with Debbie at our favorite hotel. My longtime friend Emily got married this past weekend in a perfect intimate local ceremony. And any reason for my fun mama and her husband to come to town is okay with me! Finally, I am looking forward to celebrating with Lori this weekend as she marries Chuck....rainbows through a storm.

April holds a couple of things to look forward to, but I will save those for a later post.  I would be remiss not to mention my new Hunger Games obsession. Please do not think the movie replaces the need to read all three books.  THEY ARE PHENOMENAL. I've become an avid reader as of late, so if you have suggestions bring them on.

Much Springtime love to all,
CB

Ups and Downs

So I have good news, and I have bad news....the good news is that Tuesday's chemo session was a smooth one with no major complications that day. The bad news is the complications came on Wednesday.  I am experiencing "radiation recall." That on top of the severed nerves from my lymph node removal last spring makes for a burning sensation that on some days is simply incapacitating.  What makes things worse is that the pain pill causes a migraine every.single.time.  Therefore, I'm left choosing the lesser of two evils. I knowingly invited a headache last night because the burning was so intense which resulted in about two and a half total hours of sleep.  Thank goodness it is such a beautiful day. I have all of the windows open, and the spring like breeze feels amazing and very soothing.

I have an appointment this coming Tuesday with Dr. Pippas to discuss a possible steroid regimen to hopefully keep the pain in check. We are also switching back to Tamoxifen, solely based on the fact that the new drug was $80 as opposed to $20!!! That unfortunately but realistically makes a big difference to a gal with no income.

In other news, my client Kati and I had great success in our shopping adventure this week.  Within the realm of only three stores we expanded her wardrobe exponentially. I ran into her husband and he paid me the ultimate compliment by saying "TLC's What Not to Wear has NOTHING on your skills!" I will of course be requesting his official client's spouse's testimony after we finish the coordination phase tomorrow. ;)

Love,
Carly

Bone scans, closets, chemo, and Mardi Gras

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone! As I apply my Lidocream to my chemo port, I can't help but wonder if the chemo room will be decorated in shades of purple, gold, and green.  Considering the nearly provocative yet mandatory placement of my port, I should at least score one set of beads, riiiiight??? :)  I've never been to New Orleans but have been very seriously contemplating changing that this year.
So many good things to report in one post! For starters, my bone scan results were NEGATIVE! That is a great thing! Here is the direct quote from my favorite nurse:

Hi Carly, Dr Pippas looked at your bone scan from yesterday (2/8/2012). He said: "It's negative! No sign of metastatic cancer". GOOD NEWS!!!! Take care, Lori

As with other scan results, this does not mean my existing cancer is gone, only that it has not spread to my bones (A.K.A. metastasized) so my family has been jumping for joy ever since.  We are still working out different drug combinations with Dr. Pippas.  The Tamoxifen has made me very nauseated so we are switching to its "kissing cousin" Toremifene.  This one utilizes a different enzyme in my liver and therefore may not affect my metabolism as directly. *crosses fingers*

I spent some time in two different closets yesterday through my "Style Guru" role.  My first true client Kati is a fun one. She is a beautiful girl with two beautiful children that make my job all the more fun.  She is far from having a full closet but we made some of her existing pieces look new again through belts and jewelry. We are also planning to expand her collection in that arena.  Stacey needed some "spring wardrobe sprucing" so I took brightly colored tops and cardigans and mixed them in fresh new ways to give her some added cheer.  She will be escorting me to chemo today so we might have to squeeze in a brief shopping trip while we have access to more than two stores! Ha, unlike LaGrange.

I have received two very special visits recently from my sweet friend Phyllis Bruce. Her Sunday School class has given me a love offering on two separate occasions, and she always brings a home cooked meal and a warm hug to go along with it;  it means so much.  I would also like to acknowledge the local breast cancer support group Breast Friends For Life.  Those sweethearts paid a substantial amount towards my rent this month.  My heart is full to you who continue to reach out.  Your kindness and generosity mean the world to me.

Gotta run...I have to finish my chemo prep. 
Happy Mardi Gras!

Love,
Carly

New Growth

Sitting down to type this latest blog post has been harder than having a tooth pulled.  It is one thing to have certain feelings but to express them in written form takes it to another level.

However, I was recently told I should celebrate my triumphs, as much as I focus on my trials (even more so actually).  So we will begin there...with new growth.  My hair is growing in! Rather rapidly in fact, along with my eyelashes and eyebrows.  I have received many compliments on the new "hairstyle" which always makes me giggle, but I take as sincere flattery either way.

Without a job to go to everyday, I have been pondering ways to use my natural talents to stay busy. With the urge of some of my close friends, I am offering my wardrobe coordination consulting skills to the general public.  I have created a logo and intro forms if anyone is interested.  It is officially called "a Byrd in your closet"...pun definitely and adorably intended ;-)

And now for the rain clouds....call it cabin fever...call it postpartum...call it the old fashioned blues.  Whatever you call it the months of December and January were emotionally brutal. I started taking Tamoxifen in December and it has affected my hormones, and appetite and nausea, but I am fighting hard to keep my positive outlook.  To say this is the time for encouragement is an understatement.  It seems that in the midst of chemo you are too busy slaying the physical beast to realize the toll it is truly taking on your heart, mentality, life plan, stability, well-being, etc.  Only recently have I begun to actualize what I'm referring to as "the fight behind the fight." I have learned that I cannot control external circumstances and that has been a hard pill to swallow. I have also learned to accept more help.  As you are most likely aware, I am an independent gal.  I like nothing more than marching to the beat of my own drum most days. But lately, friends have popped in, drug me out of bed, and dusted me off to keep me in the loop of life.  They have intruded with the best intentions, and I graciously appreciate it. You know who you are :-)

As this post concludes, I ask for specific prayers, prayers that allow me to truly trust in God's plan for my life this year as I transition from my tumultuous twenties to what I hope will be my thriving thirties!

My most personal thoughts regarding my heart scan...

Handwritten Journal Entry from November 17th

OH NO-vember!

Much has happened since mid-October.

For starters, I finished Taxol. The pictures depict the countdown of the final 3 Taxol sessions, and now we begin the every three week Herceptin regimen from now till next August.

Shortly after my last post, I road-tripped with several family members to MD for the most incredible Chili Cook Off hosted by one of my dearest friends. We made a lot of new friends and tasted some delicious chili.  Georgia's very own Lindsey B. brought home 2nd place!

We had a Halloween party at the barn which we haven't done since the monumental loss of Ray last November. I looked around my house for costume ideas and decided upon "Super Cancer Carly" ...it seemed fitting for the battles I have faced this year (the past three years actually). It was bittersweet being back in the barn. It is as if time stood still, and we are all waiting for Ray to walk in at any moment, grandiose and charming. We had a good time, sang a few tunes, and Dad and I even found time to swap wigs ;)

This past Thursday we had a spirit night at our local Chick-fil-A. We had a great turnout and the staff was so accommodating.  It was fun to see so many familiar smiling faces in one spot. It was truly "my pleasure."

Things were looking up, things were going well....until yesterday (11/8/11). My pal Tanner took me to my oncology appointment where Dr. Pippas diagnosed me with shingles.  He was concerned but not surprised as this diagnosis is common with such a severely lowered immune system.  Shingles is basically like chicken pox for adults, but more painful.  After my 2 hour Herceptin session, Pippas sent me directly across town to a dermatologist for confirmation.  This doc has obviously never had shingles, because if so, he might not have been quite so quick to stick a needle directly into the worst one. After enduring that brief torture, Tanner and I set out to get food for the first time that day.

My dismal day turned into a traumatic evening.  We were stopped at a red light (intersection of Veterans Parkway and Whitesville) when a man in a black Honda plowed into us from behind. I went via ambulance to St. Francis. Xrays showed no broken bones, but severe muscle spasms. Thus, just as I thought was about to get some relief from the chemo drugs, life sent me two major setbacks.  I've got a nightstand full of prescriptions and plenty of folks around to make sure I am taking them on schedule.  Tot doesn't mind keeping me company, any excuse to lay around and be a lazy dog.  Mom came to town so if I am unreachable, you can check with her on my progress.  Please say prayers for healing.  It would be nice to catch a break one of these days....until then I will keep on reaching in and looking up for continued strength, energy, and light.

It's Pinktober.

Wow! I must begin by saying THANK YOU for all the t-shirt orders! The response has been overwhelming, and we have already had to place multiple repeat orders which is a total blessing! From the nurses at John B. Amos, to childhood friends, to people I don't even know in CA and NJ....I hope they bring hope and perspective to each day you wear them.  Even Lindsey Buckingham (from Fleetwood Mac) is a fan! For those of you wanting to order one, simply click on the donate button at the top left side of this page and be sure to list your color, size, and mailing address! It's super easy.

So, we painted the town pink....and it was so cool.  Every year it becomes more and more special. That probably has something to do with my cancer diagnoses becoming progressively invasive, but oh well.  I am now recognizable, and my face has become synonymous with breast cancer.  I am proud. I am touched. I hope to be a bright ray of sunshine in the face of a treacherous storm. Even the mayor stood in line for a "Carly hug"...

I had another survivor approach me during the balloon release and say "You were here last year.  You had really pretty long blonde hair.  You obviously are fighting again, but you are every bit as beautiful as I remember you from last year."  Talk about a humbling, and jolting statement. I appreciated it more than she will ever know. Once again, my best friend's choir group sang some very touching tunes, with my sweet Mary Kathryn as a soloist. It is so incredible to see our small town unified in pink, heart, and mind for a whole day. Also, the Body Works exhibit was a MAJOR success, and will be touring different states.  There is also a book available for purchase regarding the project! Here is mine for those of you who did not get a chance to view it at the museum. 

In "Chemo News"...I have now completed 13 treatments.  I have 3 more Taxol sessions to go, and unfortunately I will not escape its dreaded side effects as I had once hoped.  Blackening nails, hot flashes, neuropathy, and aching muscles and bones.....on top of the fatigue.  Still losing lashes and brows too.  Chemo is not for the faint, nor vain, of heart. The treatments themselves have been relatively smooth, with the exception of being extremely delayed.  It is a bit nerve-wracking to arrive at 1:30, but the drugs not drip until 3:00pm.  Unfortunately, that like many other aspects of this cancer game are completely out of my control so I try to find distractions.  And my caregivers are good at that. :)

Tis the season of fundraisers! This coming weekend is the grandiose Chili Cook Off, November 3rd will be a CBHF Spirit Night at Chick-fil-A,  and there will be a benefit motorcycle ride/Boston butt sale on November 19th! I feel so fortunate and grateful to all my supporters and pray that I will continue to keep up the energy to be present for all of these fun events. Off to get some rest before a busy day tomorrow...♥

How many more?What number are you on??

Dearest fans,

SO much has happened since my last post. Now, that I'm going weekly to chemo it seems like every person crossing my path wants to know "So what # treatment is this?" or "How many left?" or "Hey you're almost done right?!"

.....Nope. I'm not. And no, believe it or not I do not have a Dick Clark NYE style countdown clock running constantly through my brain. This has become part of my life and I have accepted it.  I have never looked at any trying time as temporary, or tried to rush through it....you miss life that way. Every experience shapes me in some way to handle future experiences. Nor am I quick to take anything for face value or put all my eggs in any one basket.  There is just too much that can change in these situations as I have experienced firsthand. That being said...I have had 6 of my scheduled 12 Taxol/Herceptin rounds. Therefore it stands to reason that my last Taxol will be November 1st if nothing is altered between now and then. Dr. Pippas says my body will need a month to recover from the effects.  I will continue going every 3 weeks for Herceptin well into the spring/summer.

I will not be sad to bid Taxol "Adieu" once and forever.  I am now dealing with brittle nails, skin splitting fingertips and feet, and dry skin.  Not to mention, the severe thinning of my eyebrows and eyelashes...sadness. I didn't really notice until I looked back at some recent photos, then it hit me. Bam. I have had to get pretty handy with some makeup tricks, and am open to any suggestions. In other health news, the seroma under my left arm has almost completely self-dissipated so that is a big relief (A.K.A. no surgery)!

Another....development....I have been placed on a "leave of absence" from work.  My email has been cut off and my picture has been removed from the staff directory.  They intend to hire a replacement for the position I was working when diagnosed.  I suppose this is a cup half full/half empty situation.  On one hand, I am not pressured by the gnawing feeling the high school programs won't succeed as a result of my inability to cultivate them.  On the other hand, my income level has decreased DRAMATICALLY.  Thank goodness I had the mature insight to sign up for Short Term Disability many moons ago.  Also, I am truly obligated to say three simple words at this point: Thank You Daddy. Without his help (which is not fun accepting to this extent at age 29) I would be homeless....foodless.....helpless (hey, isn't that a CSNY song? I digress...).  When I am able to return (in December hopefully) I will be at the mercy of the "whatever's open" option. Pray.For.Me. I am very anxiety ridden in regard to this particular destiny. Would it be like, totally rude of me to remind you of the donate button at the top of this page right about now? ;)

On a brighter note, LaGrange is preparing for "Paint The Town Pink" this weekend. Today I had the honor of painting my hand prints and initials on the white brick wall that will greet visitors at the Body Works exhibit/reception.  I told you of this art project in an earlier post...survivors of all kinds of scary diseases decorated torsos to symbolize their journeys, and their fight to conquer their intended defeaters. I am excited to tell you that my torso was chosen (only 8 total) to hang in the new building of the hospital.  Before that however, the exhibit will tour as far as Cape Cod!  Saturday will kick off with the Hope For A Day 10 mile walk, then the downtown event.  I am looking forward to an emotional day with some of the coolest chicks I've ever met. It is always a bittersweet but beautiful celebration...a sorority-like gathering of women and their loved ones....of strength, grief, accomplishment, remembrance, honor, strife, and pride.

If you are on Facebook, and have not joined us yet, please become a fan of The Carly Byrd Hope Fund page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Carly-Byrd-Hope-Fund/269840573035114  This is the best way to stay updated on all the fundraisers, events, interviews, etc. that are being held in my honor. One such recent event was tossing the first pitch at the Lady Grangers softball game. The team wore pink jerseys and it was very special.

Also, my cancer story was printed in this week's Troup County Banner so grab a copy if you spot it (it's pink!).
Lastly...Don't miss your chance at these fundraisers from my friends and supporters!

Pink ribbons for your yard and/or front door are available at The Greenhouse Nursery ($5 of every purchase goes to my Hope Fund!) and....

...T-SHIRTS I DESIGNED (gray OR pink) will be available as early as Friday! Woot woot!  Naturally, they will feature my signature bird carrying the pink ribbon in its mouth, and quite fittingly a Stevie Nicks lyric....of course♥


I will be sure to share pictures and anecdotes after the coming weekend.  I will leave you with a quote I stumbled upon earlier tonight:

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. -Helen Keller

It's a Carousel My Friend...

Life goes in cycles......and mine is no exception.  Conflicts cycle, old friends cycle back into your life, and now chemo has taken on a weekly cycle.

Today marked my second battle with Taxol and Herceptin.  I asked the nurse to slow down the Benadryl pump hoping to avoid the restless arms/legs I experienced last week....it worked! I slept a lot and am thankful to be having a very decent night.  I have 10 more rounds of this "cocktail", and next week will be back to Tuesdays for those of you keeping track.

Also health related, we have been watching a small post-op seroma under my left arm for over a month now.  I am still experiencing some constant pain there but Dr. Pippas is pleased with the softening condition of it at this point, and does not insist on surgery so that is a great thing.

In other news, Stevie Nicks and company came to town! I feel so fortunate to have such supportive people in my life and her band is no exception.  We all had a good cry after the show.  Everyone means so much to me, I hope they know that.

My mom has begun transcribing again and that has proved to be a challenge for us both! I've been teaching her new technology and she has been doing her best to learn.  A lot has changed since she put her now extinct equipment into storage nearly 10 years ago! Still, it is great to see her productive in her own right, even if it means I have to get up and down............a lot! :)

As for projects and fundraisers......I've been so moved by a request I received to "tell my story via a female bust".  I love creating beauty and intrigue by eluding to my unique journey. Here's a peek....I have not decided if it is complete or not. These will be up for auction at the LaGrange Art Museum the evening before the Paint the Town Pink event that is so dear to my heart.

I am also looking forward to the Zumba event this Saturday! I think it is so cool how friends come out of the woodwork and utilize their strengths and resources for my benefit.  I only hope I can pay it forward and/or return the favor some day.  It means so much to me.

My sweet dog wants to cuddle so I must bid you "adieu" until next time.  How can I resist!? ♥♥♥

Adios Adriamycin!

Hello lovelies...

It is time for an actual health update.  On Tuesday, I had my last round of Adriamycin/Cytoxan, and that hopefully means my last dose of Neulasta (this is the white cell booster shot that makes me feel like I have the flu).  Thursdays are exceptionally awful due the side effects of this drug trifecta...I did not even recognize myself in the mirror this morning. I looked and felt like a zombie for the duration of today.

Even though these drugs are done, my treatment is far from over. I begin the Taxol/Herceptin regimen on 8/16. I will have 12 weeks of this cocktail, weekly.

Carls, Lily, and Memster

In between blog posts, I had some sweet visits with some of my fam/friends, and a couple of new fundraiser events have come to fruition: Zumba in LaGrange on 8/27 and Chili Cook Off in MD on 10/15.  Let me know if you need additional event info! I appreciate everyone's support in whatever capacity it is provided, and am looking forward to seeing everyone shake, shake, shake, shake, sh-shake it at Zumba :)

Bye Bye Blondie...

There it is folks, one of the hardest things I've had to do in four simple steps.  It helped to have a small group of supportive folks that lifted my spirits but that night, and the morning after, and the morning after that were no picnic.  I am still struggling to make certain hat/scarf/wig combinations make fashionable sense.  It always seems that the first thing I put on screams "I have cancer" to me and I wind up changing.

Regardless, I think it is important to share every aspect of this journey because if you see someone smiling through something that is this difficult, it might shine a new perspective on your own personal trials.

Gotta go wig out  ;)
Carls

Hair...not clouds......in my coffee.

I know it has been too long since my last post. My life has been a whirlwind since we returned home from Texas.  I had my first chemo treatment on June 21st, and second on July 5th. 

Here is the rundown of my schedule: I go every other Tuesday for Adriamycin and Cytoxan, and every Wednesday for Neulasta to stimulate my bone marrow. After 4 rounds of this, I start going every Tuesday for Taxol and Herceptin, for 12 rounds. Catch all that???


Just like clockwork, the day following my second treatment I have started to feel the effects: mouth is numb, throat is sore, eyes are burning, I have NO appetite, and the worst part.....my hair is thinning and falling out.



This morning while attempting to drink a vanilla caramel coffee, I noticed a hair had fallen into it suddenly making it not so sweet.  I have cried everyday since Tuesday; this is by far the hardest part of my journey...not 12 major surgeries, or the absence of my normal schedule....losing part of my external aesthetic self.  I have said many times this week that although I fully comprehend the logic that chemotherapy is poison and this proves it is killing the "bad" cells, the emotional turmoil that this chapter evokes is simply unfair.  But, if I've heard it once I've heard  it a million times..........what does not kill you makes you stronger.  I hold onto that and about a thousand other sayings, adages, lyrics, and such to stay positive. My sweet friends and fam held a "Cover Carly's Head" party in my honor so I am well stocked with cute accessories, scarves, and hats.

I have ups and downs, and really foggy moments, but I am hanging in there.  Thanks so much to all of you who continue showing your support in a thousand different ways, I love you. 


Until next time.....my wild hearts ~♥~....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HguL2bIri1Q